


Incognito

by truc



Series: Superbatweek 2020 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, Bruce bargains, Conflict, Established Relationship, Humour, Kidnapped, Kidnapper's POV, M/M, On your knees, being a superhero is tough on a marriage, happy endings, hashing family issues during a kidnapping, incognito vacation, superbatweek2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25563031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truc/pseuds/truc
Summary: Sometimes, getting kidnapped is the best way to resolve your relationship's issues.Day 3 of the Superbatweek prompts: "On Your Knees," "Kidnapped" and "Arguing"
Relationships: Batman/Superman
Series: Superbatweek 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841941
Comments: 4
Kudos: 121





	Incognito

C-pop (not his real name) was an old hand at minor crimes.

His gang, though rough, had never been involved in anything grander than larceny.

Still, C-pop was a dreamer, scheming the perfect kidnapping scenario, over and over in his mind.

He had memorized the top names and faces of all the richest and most famous in the world. Even his crew thought he was exaggerating because he'd never get his chance to kidnap one of those top dogs.

A man such as C-pop knew enough about life to know he might only get one opportunity (if even that) to a retirement fund and that he wouldn't let such a chance passed him. Gang life was not an old man's game; his clock was ticking.

Already his crew was kidding about his grey hair. Deep down, C-pop knew that conversations about replacing him had begun some time ago and that it would only get more prevalent with each passing season.

When the opportunity came, C-pop had seized it without hesitation. Now, he only needed to get his ransom exchange take place without a hitch and get rid of his idiotic and exhausting hostages.

"On your knees," Tim ordered the two burly men they had kidnapped as he yanked at the reporter's arm.

"Why?" a politely puzzled billionaire asked, still apparently ignorant of his current position as a captive.

Lanky Dog, not known for his patience, pushed the man's shoulder down. He couldn't understand a word the billionaire was saying.

Tim spat noisily before snorting an answer. "Picture for ransom."

The billionaire sent a questioning gaze Tim's way. "Can't you take a picture of us sitting on the chairs? It would be more comfortable."

As much as C-pop understood the logic behind Mr. Wayne's comment, he failed to see how the man could be so blind to who was in power here. Even the billionaire's partner seemed to agree now was the wrong time to upset kidnappers with annoying questions.

Tim deployed a technique C-pop knew was doomed to fail from the start: he tried to intimidate the billionaire. "Get on your knees and pray."

Mr. Wayne turned his elegant, almost pristine face, around and frowned. "Who says I need to be on my knees to pray? Do you automatically think I'm Christian because I'm from America? Would you release my hands if I told you I were Muslim and that I needed to prostrate myself?" Instead of continuing a losing argument, Tim gave him a hard shove.

Mr. Wayne let one of his eyebrows convey his utter disdain of Tim's simplistic scare tactic. When an elbow dug into his side, the man barely glanced at his partner before speaking. "I look better sitting in a chair than on my knees. I'm sure you can get a better price that way."

C-pop had enough of the delaying tactics; he gestured Lanky Dog to lay today's newspaper in front of the prisoners. Tim took a few shots of them. They pulled the two hostages up and sat them on the chairs.

Then, C-pop sent his men away-with some grumbling on their part- to get in contact with their middle-person, confident he could guard by himself his two captives.

A few moments later, Mr. Wayne vindictively hissed at his handcuffed partner sitting beside him, "I told you this was a bad idea."

His partner raised one eyebrow. "Excuse me? Our being taken hostage is all your fault. I told you, 'Bruce, buy clothes at a thrift shop for our vacation.' Did you listen to me? No, you didn't!"

"I did follow your recommendation! Every piece of clothes I brought with me, except for the underwear and the socks come from a f*cking thrift shop!" His irritated tone held no concern nor fear.

C-pop looked on as the famous reporter scrutinized his partner up and down, using his great investigative reporter's skills for such a waste of time. Neither of the hostages was paying any heed to him.

There were pesky but wealthy annoyances.

"I don't believe it," Clark Kent from the Daily Planet declared. "All your clothing is from famous brands."

"Not everyone recognizes quality when they see it," the billionaire bit back.

The reporter seemed speechless for a moment, eyes bulging. If no handcuff secured the reporter, C-pop was sure he'd have rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "Bruce, how many thrift shops did you visit to acquire your clothing?"

The billionaire looked ruffled by the insinuation. "Why would that even matter? I told you our incognito vacation was a bad idea; that we would get kidnapped. But, no, _**you**_ insisted that we would be fine as long as I bought clothes from a thrift store. I did and, here we are anyway!"

After a moment, his partner answered, "Why are you always seeking loopholes in what I'm saying? Did you want us to enjoy travelling incognito or, did you want to prove me wrong? You went to who knows how many thrift stores, but bought the same type of quality clothing that would get you recognized in the first place!"

The billionaire looked incensed. "You think clothing got us recognized?" He turned to C-pop, eyes squinting, and asked, "Did you recognized us because of our clothes or our faces?"

C-pop threw his cigarette on the floor and stubbed it under his heel. "The clothes made you easier to recognize, but I go by faces."

"See!" the billionaire said as he turned to his boyfriend. "The incognito vacation was a horrid idea born from watching too many movies!"

Mr. Kent's face went from angry to crestfallen in a matter of seconds, looking more like a disappointed parent than a betrayed lover- in C-pop's opinion, at least. "Bruce, are you always going to take my suggestions as preachy attacks on your way of life? I only want to spend time with you, far from our usual distractions."

The unwavering mask that fell upon the billionaire's visage appeared to clarify his position to the reporter and the kidnapper.

"Distractions, is that what you call what I do?"

"Bruce, you know that's not what I meant."

"What exactly did you mean?" Mr. Wayne used an icy tone that would put even C-pop's mother-in-law at shame.

Silence hung awkwardly between the men.

"We don't spend time together anymore," the reporter quietly admitted as he looked at his partner with worry. "You're growing distant and, I don't know how to stop it; you won't even tell me why."

For a beat, Mr. Wayne was silent.

Looking at the wall, he said, "You're the one who's spending all your time away. When you come back, you want all my attention all the time. When I don't have time for all of your activities cramped in a few days, you guilt-trip me. It's almost as if you think your irregular schedule's more important than mine; that I always have to be the one that bends backwards to accommodate you."

The mood changed; the tightness eased into something more mellow.

"I... I didn't know you felt like that," Mr. Kent said. "I thought you wanted me to take spend away because I'm too clingy and, you needed some time and space to breathe."

"Clark," the billionaire said, somewhat impatiently, "I need some personal time to recharge; I don't want you gone more than half the time and giving me twice the attention the rest of the time."

C-pop looked on as the two men stared in each other's eyes, their eyes growing half-lidded by the second.

C-pop cleared his throat before the mood could turn more intense. "As nice as it is that you made up, you are still both hostages in my care. No kissing."

Mr. Wayne twisted his head in his direction. "For how much are you ransoming us?"

"One million," C-pop responded-because why the hell not.

"And you're going to divide that amount equally between the three of you?"

C-pop shook his head. "We've got the middle-person and the mercenaries to pay before dividing that amount."

"If you pay your criminals roughly the same amount as those in Gotham, they will gouge you of more than a quarter of that amount, if not more. And they might not be trustworthy, meaning they may steal part of your money too. Besides, your two crew members don't seem to respect you," the billionaire enumerated.

C-pop carefully parsed through the statements and, he had to agree the business's knowledge of the underworld was uncannily accurate. A younger version of himself would have been furious; he would have bellowed and screamed insults. This version of himself knew better than to jump the gun.

"What are you saying?"

The ignorant rich man appeared to be a clever businessman negotiating his deal as he offered, "Instead of receiving less than a quarter-million for a crime, wouldn't you want a management position with its associated benefits and a pension plan? My business can always hire people who are as organized and methodical as you are."

At the surface, the proposition seemed ridiculous, however, C-pop had seen and heard enough from Mr. Wayne and Mr. Kent to know they weren't exactly what the tabloids said they were. As absurd as it was, C-pop was inclined to believe Mr. Wayne meant his offer.

Due diligence.

"With all due respect, Mr. Wayne, your business is not located in this country and, I quite like it here."

Of course, the billionaire had an answer to that. "My official corporation doesn't do business here, but I have subsidiaries located here. I'm sure I could find you a position without any need to uproot yourself or your family."

The offer was tempting. C-pop certainly wouldn't have to look over his shoulder for the rest of his life, even if he would make less.

"What is my guarantee you won't turn around and get me arrested or forget about me when you're free?"

Mr. Wayne nodded, seemingly satisfied with C-pop's attitude. "I don't mind the occasional kidnapping as long as nobody gets hurts." He smiled warmly at his lover. "It allowed us to get closer and, I'm thankful for your part in this." Mr. Kent beamed back at him, eyes shiny. "I don't mind writing and signing a handmade contract if that would put your mind to ease."

C-pop thought about it for a moment and shook his head; for some reason, he could feel Mr. Wayne was genuine with both his offer and his gratefulness.

"Nah, that's fine."

"Good," the billionaire said, "Can you release us now?"

C-pop's lips curled up one side. "Fancy some more kissing? You remind me of my old lady and me. Never could stop arguing; never could stop kissing."

The definite reason C-pop was releasing them was that he was a sod for love stories.

As soon as the handcuffs were off, the men kissed each other as if this was their last day on Earth, hands cupping each other's neck, lips scraping, sucking and licking.

With a wry look, C-pop clapped his hands. "Get going before my men come back."

The men separated, eyes still lost in the other's eyes. Gazing back at his lover, Mr. Wayne dragged his lover towards the exit.

Mr. Kent stopped, about turned and beamed rays of sunshine and rainbow in C-pop's direction. "Thank you!"

Then, they were gone.

C-pop peered outside his building's window. When was the last time he allowed himself to be romantic? Maybe it was time to spend more time with his old lady.

When his men came back and noticed the hostages were gone, they asked, "What happened?"

C-pop shook his head. "I'm getting too old for this, Tim. They overpowered me so easily. I think it's time you took over the gang."

Tim's eyes widened in surprise. "What are you going to do?"

C-pop touched the window and thought about today's foolishness of releasing his golden opportunity for a dream in which love and honesty always prevailed.

He smiled, content with his choice, "I'll retire."


End file.
